Online Dating and the No-Show Date

These days internet dating has become so popular that everyone seems to know a happy couple who met online. Of course there are those who have horror stories about online dating, but I can't say that they seem too different from stories about bad dates where the couple had not met online. One very big difference that I do hear about often, is that women get stood up more often by men that they have met online than men that they have met other ways.

The most obvious problem with a standing up a date is that it's rude. Everyone has a cell phone these days, so there is no excuse for not calling to cancel. Even a last minute cancellation is better than not calling since at least the woman will be spared the time and embarrassment of waiting for a date that never shows. Second, women tend to blame themselves when something goes wrong with a date, even a date that never was. So with that in mind, I'd like to share some of the categories of men who stand up their online dates.

• The "Big" Liar- I stress "big" because this is not the accountant who claims to be a hedge fund manager or some other lie that would be revealed down the line. We're talking about a guy who has seriously lied on his profile. It may be that the picture was from ten years ago or fifty pounds ago or both. It may be that he submitted a photo of someone else. It may be that he is 5'2" when his profile says 6'2". For the big liar, the jig is up as soon as you meet him, which is why he can't bring himself to go on that first date.

• Likes Technology Better Than People- This is the guy who can email and IM all day long with great ease but get him away from a keyboard and he's socially inept. He wants to meet you, he just finds it easier to relate to people over the internet or maybe even on the phone rather than in person. While it is sad that this guy relates better to computers than to people, he still should have canceled rather than standing you up. You know he has a cell phone or Blackberry with him at all times.

• Online Dating Addict- This guy's motto is "So many women online so little time." These guys have profiles on multiple dating sites and no matter how many women they meet they are always curious if the next women may be "better." Many of these men are still actively pursuing women online even while they are dating women that they met online. Of course there have always been men who are constantly looking, but internet dating has certainly made it easier for them. If the online dating addict has stood you up because he's out meeting the woman he thinks will be the "better deal," then you are much luckier than the girl that he is currently out with.
  

So can online dating help you find "the one?" The number of success stories lead us to believe that it can; however, it is definitely easier for an online date to stand you up. Chances are that if you meet a man offline, you will have met at least briefly in person which makes it harder to stand you up than someone who has never met you. So while I wouldn't dismiss online dating as an option, I would recommend that you be aware that your odds of being stood up are greater and plan your date accordingly. After all, it's not nearly as awkward to be left waiting at a coffee shop as it is to be left waiting at a nice restaurant in a fancy dress.